Seasons of Thanksgiving

Yesterday morning when I logged onto my computer, I was greeted by the Thanksgiving Dinner Norman Rockwell print. It's the one where the grandmother serves turkey to her family and wide smiles curtain the faces of all who gather round. Whenever I see that print I am reminded of seasons past and the lovely faces that graced my grandmother's table. Time and changing family structures have displaced the celebrations of my youth, but I remember the faces fondly and the feelings of those days. Today, my seasons of thanksgiving differ as markedly as the new faces gathered round my table. I often marvel at how quickly life can change, even as swiftly and quickly as nature's passing seasons. And although I grow nostalgic for the traditional celebrations of my past, I have to remind myself that Thanksgiving can be celebrated in a myriad of ways and still feel like the ones Mr. Rockwell so eloquently captured on canvas.

My children experience Thanksgiving differently than the way I experienced Thanksgiving. Instead of waking up to heavenly aromas wafting throughout the house and lounging in pajamas while watching the beloved Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, they wake up to chilly temperatures and a restaurant buffet line. I am not really sure how we went from gathering at the home of a loved one to having someone else cook our meal, but that has me wondering, what really makes a Thanksgiving to remember?

Those who know me best know that sometimes, I can get caught up in the details of an affair. I want to make sure the table linens are just right, the house is decorated in colorful array and the turkey is seasoned to perfection. I want the soft lighting, festive melodies and elegant touches that make me feel like I am living in a scene portrayed in a Hallmark movie. But if I can't have these elements in my vision, what do I really have?

Back story: My living room has been suffering patiently waiting for the overworked Mr. T to finish a construction project that has been ongoing since the latter part of summer. Due to the displacement of furniture, tools and electronics, I was unable to decorate for either of the autumn holidays. After promises and visions of completion, I found myself on the eve of Thanksgiving, staring at a hole in my wall and inches of dust from the rafters to the floor boards. It didn't look like the project was anywhere close to completion and I was overwhelmed by the sad thought that I might not be able to decorate for Christmas. As I attempted to distract myself from the cloud of grey covering my house and filling my heart, I thought about what it would be like if superficial cares were not so important to me.

I often wonder if I am shortchanging my children by not hosting a large Thanksgiving feast for the family every year. But as Rockwell's vision was not about the china, linens or abundance of material possessions, it was an illustration of the freedoms we enjoy as Americans. When I think about the simple beauty of the holiday and the freedoms the Pilgrims were searching for, Thanksgiving takes on new meaning. If I want to celebrate the holiday in true form, the day cannot be focused on the trimmings and the trifles. I can't allow it be about the quality of the food or the elegance of the presentation. It can only be centered on spending time with those who matter most to me and reflecting on my blessings both great and small. While it's true I don't present Thanksgiving the way my mother presented Thanksgiving, I imagine that holiday celebrations in Indiana were a far cry from the ones she knew on the East Coast. Yet regardless of whether a turkey or a lobster fills the bellies of your loved ones, we all share a common thread and that thread is the blessing of family.

I no longer have the opportunity to sit around the table with my mother and learn from her like I did in years past. But I would like to thank her for showing me what is important in life, and although she cultivated a near perfect turkey with all the trimmings, what she really cultivated was a sense of gratitude in me, a sense of belonging and a sense of love.

So, even though I fail in the festive decorating department, I hope my children will grow to appreciate their blessings and count them as they do the members of their family. For it's the feeling of Thanksgiving we remember, the feeling of gratitude for a family we hold dear.

It warms my heart to see Xavier playing with his cousins. He loves them dearly and would be just as excited to share a Thanksgiving feast with them in the drive thru of a fast food restaurant. This is the second year we decided to forgo cooking and dine at Chuck-A-Rama's holiday buffet. There was no mess, no fuss and we didn't even have to wait in line! They opened an hour early so we were able to be seated without having to break into smaller groups and sit at different tables. Since my youngest sister had not arrived yet, I took the opportunity to do what everyone loves best...pose for the memories!

I can always count on my sister Angie to take a picture with me at every family celebration and holiday gathering. Angie's oldest, Gabe, opted out of the impromptu photo session but the younger and older kids were happy to oblige.

Expressions are part of the joy of holiday gatherings. I adore the signature faces of these sparkling personalities. Emerson, who often doesn't say much, furrows and arches his eyebrows questioningly. Xavier, my cool-without-a-cause little man, channels the late James Dean while Christian, a.k.a. Bubba, and Sammie entertain with their cheeky grins. Angie managed to capture Gabe later that morning after he enjoyed some ice cream. Sugar always makes me smile, too.

We waited about thirty minutes before Andi arrived so we had plenty of time to take family pictures. Mr. T was grateful for that. He seizes every opportunity to appease me.

Once we were seated, the natives and Pilgrims feasted on three types of meat, four kinds of potatoes, multiple cinnamon and sugar coated fruits and vegetables, plus every bread product imaginable. I have to admit that the food was a little too rich and heavy for my tempestuous tummy, but the rolls were mighty tasty so I threw caution to the wind and enjoyed two wheat rolls drenched in brown gravy. Although I do my best to ignore the bread basket at home, it's a well-known fact that Hoosier girls love their biscuits and gravy in whatever form they can get them.

Emer, who is no stranger to the joys of eating starch, dove right in to a plate of mashed potatoes and corn while Xavier ignored his plate in favor of the entertainment. Whether dining at home or in public, X strictly adheres to his motto of I'd-rather-play-than-eat-so-I'm-going-to-sit-here-and-charm-everyone-instead. Adventurous Bubba crossed cultures with his Thanksgiving feast by enjoying some cornbread with his pizza; Sweet Tooth Sammie was all smiles after a bowlful of strawberry and vanilla twisted ice cream sprinkled with bite-size vanilla, chocolate and strawberry sugar wafers.

As with all family gatherings, the meal seemed to be over almost as quickly as it began and I was sad to part ways with such a fun bunch of people. I'm not sure we'll traverse through the Chuck-A-Rama buffet line again, so plans for next year are wide open. Perhaps we'll cruise the salad bar at Sizzler, experiment with a meat lovers pizza party or maybe even go out on a limb and deep fry a turkey at home. Wherever your turkey adventure led you this year, here's hoping your holiday was filled with a heaping spoonful of all your favorites and topped with the blessing of family.