My heart is pounding a little faster than it normally does. As my eyes brim with the sting of salty tears, I realize that the burn deep within my chest is more of a call to action than the consequence of eating too much red sauce with dinner. As I sit here and ponder what I should write to calm my skittish nerves, I know my only hope for release is that the Spirit will guide me on what I should say. Each morning, as I make the sunlit drive down 300 South to my place of business, I say a prayer that my Father in Heaven will make good use of me this day, that I will be able to help a person in need, and that I will be receptive to things of the Spirit. I ask Him to use me as an instrument of good will and a vessel for sharing the gospel. I also ask that He will not only use me as an instrument in writing, but impress upon me the things I should write. Incidentally, I have not written a solitary note in the past two months; perhaps my inactivity is due more to fear than lack of prompting. Sometimes, I need to write about principles that are difficult to articulate and may unintentionally cause offense to others. I imagine that if I had the faith of Paul, my letters to friends and family would focus less on my insecurities and more on the messages that we need to hear, even if they are not always the messages that are easy to hear.
It is evident to each one of us that we live in a changing world. Change is often perceived as motion in a forward direction, right? As we shed layers of our old selves, refining and purifying our hearts, we gain a hope and vision which leads us on the path to maturity. We become more like the ideal we are striving to become, as we use life's lessons and past mistakes to strengthen and fortify us, making us resolute in our quest for perfection. However, as much as we often enjoy change, I wholeheartedly believe that some things in life are not meant to change. Truth is one of those things. As I experience culture, community, and diversity throughout my life, I have come to recognize three very important truths. Those are: (1) that God is unchanging. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. If He ever did change, He would cease to be God; (2) that inspiration for change comes only from two sources. If we do not recognize and discern between the two sources, we may easily be led down a path of physical and moral destruction; and (3) if we choose to play with fire, we accept the fact that we may get burned.
You all know how much I love and honor this great nation. From coast to coast, I revere America's landscape, her people, her values, and her diversity. I believe in her strength, her purpose, and her foundation. Yes, her foundation...
I could speak for hours about the origin of America's creation; however, I would only distract myself and become lost in orations of virtue and triumph. My purpose here today, if nothing else, is to testify to myself of the importance of families and fulfilling the measure of our divine creation.
When Adam was placed in the Garden of Eden, he was given a companion and helpmeet. Her name is Eve. Together, they faced the trials and turbulences of a lonely world to fulfill God's commandments and rear children in faith. They were the first parents of this world, and they set a precedence that has been followed for thousands of years. We have been taught that Adam and Eve are the first example of marriage, and "marriage is necessary for the accomplishment of God’s plan, to provide the approved setting for mortal birth, and to prepare family members for eternal life" (D. Oaks, 1993).
"Marriage is ordained of God unto man," the Lord said, "that the earth might answer the end of its creation; and that it might be filled with the measure of man, according to his creation before the world was made" (D&C 49:15–17). What we know about marriage comes from heavenly instruction. God has revealed truth to us, as he revealed truth to Adam and Eve, about the nature and principle of marriage. He has explained, through his prophets and apostles on the earth, what constitutes marriage and why it is of eternal importance. The Apostle Paul taught, "Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11). As I understand this scripture, marriage between a man and a woman is the only way to meet God. God has set the example and has established the path to meet Him, showing the children of men that the path is straight and the gate is narrow. By understanding this principle or eternal truth, I ponder the following questions: If God defined marriage before Adam and Eve were placed in the Garden, then why do we as a society deem it necessary to redefine what He has already prescribed? Why should sociology be the guiding principle of truth when society itself is subject to the whims and flights of fancy? How do we hold firm to a foundation that shifts direction with the wind and rotates position with the passing of each new day?
I recognize that these words may seem harsh and intolerant of differences. I have thought much about the second commandment and how loving our neighbor reconciles with the principle of marriage. In my life, I have friends and family members who are gay, lesbian, and bisexual. I love them and respect them for their individual differences. I know the Lord loves them, too, and only wants the best for them. He would never want to deny them any blessing, yet I cannot bring myself to believe that the sacred nature of families would be altered to satisfy the demands of a changing society. As I mentioned earlier, God is unchanging. If He in His infinite wisdom is not capable of change, then perhaps we as His children should change to become more like Him. Although I believe that all men are created equal and are deserving of equal rights, we are not treated equally during our mortal probation. We must each pass through unique tests and trials, and we must each be strengthened in the Lord to meet our difficulties. My heart aches for those who feel they are victims of discrimination and are unfairly held accountable for the moral codes of the conservative right; they see their only recourse to equality in becoming legal partners in a same-sex institution. I freely admit that I do not know what the civil or government response should be, but I do know that redefining marriage is not the solution. I also know that we can find no happiness in trying to serve two masters and I must freely serve the Lord without fear of offending my fellow man. Scripture testifies that "truth abideth forever and ever" (D&C 1:39). Although my personal understanding of truth may come in bits and pieces as I prepare myself to receive it, the truth itself does not change. The eternal truth and principle of marriage does not change. Marriage is sacred. It is eternal. It is for the purpose of rearing families. And it can only be ordained between a man and a woman.
As we go forward discussing this matter in our private and public circles, I ask that we consider our personal motivation and inspiration for change. Are we giving more than we are receiving? Are we considering the consequences of our actions? Will our choices bring us closer to God or bring upon us the need for chastisement? Are we willing to accept a standard higher than our own, even if that standard makes us uncomfortable? In the spirit of humility, do we allow God to refine and purify our hearts or do we pass through the streets demanding He change to accept us while we sound our trumpets and smash our cymbals? Can we satisfy the requirements of a higher law while honoring the laws of our land? Can we establish a civil union that legally offers all citizens equal rights without demanding the sacrifice of sacred institutions?
I do not have all the answers, but I do know we must not trifle with sacred things. One of the greatest sins of our generation is that we are not living up to our potential, and we rationalize the outcomes. We want to change the rules to suit our individual purposes as we employ the philosophies of men to make our arguments enticing to others. We say that our God would never discriminate against us. He would never tell us that our choices are wrong. And parents always agree with their children. Friends, I speak boldly when I say that we are not playing a friendly game of chess; when the final buzzer rings, everyone will not receive a trophy and be given a gold star for effort. Whether we want to admit it or not, this battle on America's forefront is a continuation of a battle that began long before either you or I entered this world. We must choose this day whom we will serve. And may "the peace of God, which passeth all understanding," coupled with His infinite mercy and wisdom, show us clearly which side of the truth we should stand upon (Philip 4:7). My fellow brothers and sisters, are we choosing the better part?
2 comments:
Erika, I enjoy your writing and I need to think about this post before I can truly respond in a way that I would like and it is late. [:)] However, this statement "We want to change the rules to suit our individual purposes as we employ the philosophies of men to make our arguments enticing to others." is a very unfair judgement on why someone would endeavor to make marriage available to committed gay couples. If I don't live my married life the way that you view God intended then should I be banded from being married or since I can bare children am I protected from the government taking my right to be married away? Also it is not the job of the right (a political group) to make anyone accountable for a moral code that they believe God backs. It's unfair and blind.
Thank you Erica for sharing all of that. It's not easy.
The duplicity of the Mormon stance that “traditional” marriage is to be defined as being between “one man and one woman” is that they do not believe this. Mormon doctrine rather implies that marriage is rather to be between one man and many women as was previously practiced until the federal government was on the brink of confiscating all property of the LDS church. Further, this doctrine was not abolished rather postponed to be practiced in the afterlife by those most valiant to “God’s will” entering into his celestial kingdom.
Consistent with your statement, “ If God defined marriage before Adam and Eve were placed in the Garden, then why do we as a society deem it necessary to redefine what He has already prescribed?”, other “inspired” leaders of your church have also made statements which attempt to justify inequality in society.
“Who placed the Negroes originally in darkest Africa? Was it some man, or was it God? And when he placed them there, He segregated them.” (address given to LDS teachers of religion by Mark E. Peterson, 1954).
“…we firmly believe that the Equal Rights Amendment is not the answer. While the motives of its supporters may be praiseworthy, ERA as a blanket attempt to help women could indeed bring them far more restraints and repressions. We fear it will even stifle many God-given feminine instincts. It would strike at the family, humankind’s basic institution.” (First Presidency Issues Statement Opposing Equal Rights Amendment, Ensign, Dec. 1976, 79).
The “truth” is that people are products of their time period and upbringing. The moment one individual claims to have special insight beyond this world, anything can be justified and the golden rule becomes a forgotten artifact that only applied to less “inspired” individuals.
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