Amonett is our name. Ghettofabulous is our game!

On this Halloween Eve, a question crosses my mind: Are Thaus and I in danger of being fired from parenting? We have come eye-to-bloodshot eye with the final hours of trick and treat preparation and we have no carved creations to greet our guests!

I fully blame the snow for short-circuiting our alarms and schedule this week... before we could recover from the arctic tundra that befell us, Thaus and I were offering a fine performance of Peter and Kate McCallister running through the grocery stores of Spanish Fork with a smartalecky Buzz and mischievous Kevin in tow.

Our first stop was Macey's grocery store in the heart of downtown Spanish. I had noticed several hundred pumpkins adorning the storefront over the past few weeks, and for 8 cents a pound, who can argue with ambiance?

When we arrived shortly after 8 p.m., there were no pumpkins or gourds to greet us, so we embarked upon a journey inside the store to see where the remnants had been moved to. Without a single wooden crate or round orange fruit in view, we veered to the right. Immediately, Xavier sniffed out the bulk candy bins and perfected his begging grunt for holiday treats.


You may notice Xavier is wearing two hats, a beanie and a ball cap. He insisted on dressing himself, and is now a fashionista at the ripe old age of two.


We lured X away from the candy by allowing him to push the shopping cart. We were quickly distracted by an yellow neon sign and opted for a carb boost to assist us in our hunt. Ice cream coming up!


Mmm...vanilla. Xavier was quite content with his baby-sized cone until he saw Daddy's larger size. Having a keen eye for market values, he instantly demanded a trade.


I found it! I found it! Mommy found a pumpkin. Oh wait, wrong pumpkin. The hunt ensues...

Thaus chatted with a couple associates and discovered they were sold out of pumpkins and would receive a new shipment on Saturday. Not wanting to wait, we continued our search at Albertsons. When we pulled up to the entrance of their outdoor patch, the ravens had already descended and ravaged the patch's meager offerings. There were only a few sickly ones left so we kept driving. A quick stop at Kmart offered us even less so we ran through the list of open department/grocery stores. ShopKo? Alas, we are forced to keep driving...

This time, we thought we would try our luck at Wal-Mart. Wallace always has what we need, and always at an affordable price. Surely, their big o' box of pumpkins would not disappoint.

The big o' box of pumpkins was no longer in the front entrance, yet plenty of Elmo candy carriers were. In one fluid move, Xavier snagged an Elmo and began the dash for his treasure. He was acting more like it was the wee hours of November 27th rather than the late hours of October 30th. I didn't have the heart to tell him he was prematurely revving his cylinders for a different type of black holiday.



Success! It may not be the most sincere pumpkin patch, but the Great Pumpkin will just have to work with us.


Pie pumpkins and miniature gourds are all that remain, and we'll gladly take 'em!
And Xavier will gladly peel all the stickers off.


Someday, I hope Xavier will look back on our market adventure and smile. We may not have traversed the most beautiful patch in the world, yet sometimes our joy is found in the journey and not the destination. When that explanation fails to suffice, the only excuse I will be able to offer my boy is this:
Amonett is our name. Ghettofabulous is our game!

Stay tuned for the carving results...