State of the Union

Dear fellow Americans: There has been a matter weighing upon me for quite some time. As Americans, we are living in hard economic times. It is no secret that taxes are high, unemployment continues to rise, state funding for educational and social programs is being cut, energy costs are soaring, and expensive bailouts are being handed out like false promises at the Democratic Convention. Yet, even though we, as a nation, are faced with magnitudes of adversity, I feel we must return to the basics, the foundations of civil living, if we ever want to progress towards finding a solution to our nation's greater struggles. For this reason, I find it pertinent to discuss with you a simple and yet neglected social more known more commonly as The Wave.

When was it that we became a society of entitled drivers? Do we have a pyschological need to cut people off because in our minds we feel our social status is progressing when our automobile is one car length ahead of another? And when a courteous driver of good breeding pauses to allow you a position in the forefront, whether in fast paced traffic or in a traffic jam, why do you not reciprocate the act of kindness by giving a hand gesture signaling gratitude, a nod of the head, a tip of the hat, or even a flashing of your taillights? I am sure if Jerry Seinfeld was still writing shows about nothing, he would be melodramatically outraged by this ongoing social travesty and devote an entire episode to my worthy cause.

Please, for the love of all that is good in our world, do not let our basic civilities run amok. Be kind to your fellow drivers. Take the .3 seconds out of your busy day and wave. That's all. A flick of the wrist, middle finger connected to the index and ring fingers. And if you are not savvy enough to wave when I let you in front of me, consider yourself forewarned. No, I will not release my offense in the form of road rage, but know I WILL judge you based upon your lack of proactive, courteous action, and I will curse you with offensive language and derogatory labels...out loud...by myself...or possibly even with a passenger in my car.

Take that, rude drivers!