Secondly, I looked forward to the round of cake, ice cream, and my family's adlibbed version of the happy birthday song. As a kid, I believed any notoriety was great notoriety and I was up for all that I could get. I wanted everyone to know it was my birthday, including the kids in my primary class at church. And I wanted them to sing the "real" happy birthday song to me, not the one some church leader made up and thought was a good alternative. I felt gypped each year I heard that fake song.
Thirdly, I looked forward to the possibilities of a new year and a new age. I remember thinking of the upcoming school year, the new goals I had set for myself, and the creative projects I would be working on. I really enjoyed my youth and all my birthdays as a youth. I thank my parents for that. They took especial care to make sure I felt honored and important every 16th of July.
This year I turned 35. I have not particularly enjoyed or looked forward to birthdays for quite some time now. On the eve of this year's birthday a neighbor and friend asked me what I would want if I could have anything my heart desired. Not knowing how to respond, I hesitantly replied, "A clean house?" She shook her head in disappointment at me and asked again. I honestly told her I didn't know because birthdays are just another day for me, something to survive and get through, like every other day of my life. I realized in that moment that I have become a sad sort of person, looking at my life as something to be endured instead of something to find joy in.
The truth is, these last years have been hard on me and I carry a heavy weight upon my shoulders at all times. I have been required to tend to many things at once and instead of completing any one task well, I perform half-hearted jobs of all. I feel guilty about the things I want to be doing, important things for the growth and development of my son, yet with financial and domestic responsibilities keeping my arms in full juggle, there is just not enough time for me to do and appreciate all that my heart desires.
So, this year I am focusing on some new projects and enjoying the small moments which bring a smile or give me reason to be thankful for the gifts in my life. I received a blessing from an ecclesiastical leader many years ago which foretold of these trying years and how the blessings in my life would not be easily visible to the naked eye. I would have to search and ponder upon the events and opportunities given me to really "see" how the Lord has had a hand in directing me. I am reminded of that blessing every day of my life.
My birthday happened to fall on the date of the annual city festival sponsored by Draper City in northern Utah. Collin Raye headlined a free concert in the park, supported by the Nashville singing/songwriting group, Savannah Jack. It was so relaxing to sit beneath the stars and listen to the songs I remember of my late high school and early college years. The kids ran around chasing each other, dancing, laughing, and enjoying the treats of the evening, including chocolate peanut butter birthday cupcakes and bubblegum flavored snowies. Sitting there watching the kids reminded me of the concerts my parents took me to when I was a child. It was an exciting time of life. Time spent with good friends and family. Time spent making memories and focusing on the small treasures life has to offer, even when there were storms brewing on the horizon. The interesting thing is that I only remember the happy times; the storms are but a distant memory. Perhaps in this new year upon me, I will remember to look upon the happy times and not worry so much about the storms brewing around me. Perhaps I will once again recapture the enthusiasm and happiness of my youth, and be able to create treasured memories for my son, as my parents so successfully did for me.
My dad looks forward to Draper Days each year. This is the second year that Thaus, Xavier, and I have attended. It was a sweet experience having my sisters, their spouses, and their children spend the evening together. Grandpa Skip bought pizza for everyone and I laugh every time I see Xavier's "Calvin" expression as he is picking at his slice. Sammie, above Xavier, is a Draper Days princess, and she spent all evening switching between her tiara and cowgirl hat. My sister, Andi, and her girls were listening to the concert while Angie took her kids to the snow cone shack. Let's hear it for Snowies!
The cousins have such a great time when they get together. I love the upper left corner photo of Sammie. She was checking out the sky to make sure no fireworks were in her near future. Livi, below, is as darling as ever while Gabe and Christian share a kiddie chair. Xavier, who loves his cousin Sammie and speaks of her incessantly, was more than happy to put his arm around her and love on her all night.
Xavier and Sammie danced the night away. Gabe and Jaxon flashed their gang signs while I stole a pic with the guy who hates even a nanosecond of posing and shared a birthday cupcake with my favorite little man.
I adore Xavier's facial expressions. What a handsome kid! Sammie is all ready to make her cowgirl debut as the Draper Days backup dance coordinator. I think she enjoyed having a willing partner who would sway back and forth to the music with her and follow her most detailed instructions. In the upper right photo are Angie's three kids, Christian, Gabe, and Sammie. And the piece de resistance was the scrumptious chocolate peanut butter cupcakes made especially for me by Angie. I love that frosting so much I could drink it!
What a fabulous introduction to 35. I think I'm gonna like this year!
1 comment:
It was a fun party! And quite delicious, too!
Post a Comment