Oh, No SHE Didn't!

My finger is waving and your personal space has been invaded. Yes, friends, I am experiencing a Rosie Perez moment. At least I am borrowing her Puerto Rican accent while I chastise Miss Delilah Luke, hostess of KOSY's nighttime radio program, Delilah. You may be wondering why I would ever feel the need to rebuke a woman who is seemingly compassionate, caring, educated, and tolerant. A woman who unselfishly offers words of encouragement and inspiration to those who are struggling to find solid ground through the tempests of temporal life. A woman who would have us believe that a full and welcoming heart is better than a bitter, condemning, and judgmental heart. Surely, Delilah is perceived to be an angel to many, yet today, I feel as if her angelic nature may be shrouded by her lambskin costume which appears to be in need of a good shearing. Fortunately for her, I am just the woman for the job!

Some of my readers may be familiar with the Mormon Times. On December 26, 2009, an article of interest was published. I just happened across it today, hence my delayed reaction and outpouring of Portugue outrage.

According to the article (click link in paragraph above), Delilah pulled her children from their Seattle-based schools based on her discontent with the curriculum offered in a leadership class. One of the books numbered in the curriculum is 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I think Delilah is confusing the principles contained within the self-help book as Mormon scripture. This assumption couldn't be further from the truth.

Perhaps I should enumerate a few of the finer points of Christlike (i.e. Mormon) living as to provide Miss Delilah clarification for her skewed thinking:

1. Regardless of race, creed, nationality, gender, age, or monthly income, Mormons offer charity to their brothers and sisters living within the United States and throughout the countries of the world. I realize it may be excruciating to sit idly by while Mormons share their time, talents, and energies with the people of the world. Who do the Mormons think they are anyway? Christlike service is reserved for the Peace Corps, Salvation Army, and Red Cross. It's just like us Mormons to horn in on other people's territories and render service wherever it may be needed. Geesh!

2. Mormons prepare meals for friends, family, and neighbors. Sometimes, we even squabble over who gets to make and deliver the meals. We're crazy like that. And watch out for our brownies. We lace them with real butter and cocoa powder from our food storage. We might be able to save your soul with our chicken soup, but we are defenseless against saving your derriere from our homemade dumplings.

3. Mormons preach a pro-active lifestyle. The non-paid clergy also brainwash their congregations into believing they can take an active part in their roles upon this earth. They can influence the lives of their family for good. They can spend time interacting with their children; they can refrain from drugs and alcohol; they can live within their means; they can prepare spiritually and temporally for trials that will come; they can take responsibility for their actions. And don't forget the whole self-reliance factor. It's really a secret code for, "you're not taking full opportunity or advantage of the government and its ever-available dole".

Listen, Delilah. I am not trying to spew venom on you, yet your actions throw an ice crystal through this warped Mormon heart of mine. In the interest of creating peace, I will promise you this: You have my word I will not turn the station when your program is on (unless you are playing a lame Elton John song), nor will I malign you from my rooftop (I won't mention the fact that the pitch is too steep for me to conquer). It is my hope you would invite Stephen Covey as a guest on your program, or perhaps invite him to your home for dinner so you may rationally discuss your similarities and differences. Brother Covey will not gift you with a bottle of wine upon his arrival, yet he might help you decipher the hidden, dark meanings lurking beneath the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. However, if he begins making reference to seek first to understand and then be understood, hurry and grab your garlic necklace. The end will surely be at hand.